Rebirth...?

It’s high time I resolve in maintaining and updating my blog periodically. I’ve abandoned this blog countless of times with a pocket of excuses that in reality does not really justify the act of abandonment.

Anyhow. I still want to fish out an excuse for the sake of excusing myself: I have been extremely busy lately. Even my other business blog is somewhat abandoned although I do receive an order or two once in a while.

For those who are close to me, you may know what has happened to me for the past months. It has not been a very pretty picture. In fact, I have soured so many friendships and relationships that it’s eating into me. I’m still struggling to fight off the jaws of hurt and grieve, of hurt and anger. For the uninitiated, I do not wish to walk down “memory lane” anymore, fortunately. Ignorant is bliss – or so they say.

Job-wise: I have also changed jobs. It’s something like a promotion but not exactly a promotion. I used to be a magazine writer – gleefully (and sometimes ruefully) writing about the property industry and everything that is within it. Now, am an Editor for a somewhat established and big company that does not wholly focus on magazine production. It’s a boon and a bane actually – it can be a learning curve for me and it can be my downfall either; but my planning is this: I will work here for as long as I can or until I have found another suitable and better paying job, something that stills fuel my passion to excel in journalism, writing and editing. Like Tina Fey (of 30 Rock) to her youth, I am holding on to my writing passion “with gollum’s arms.”

I might have an offer coming – that is if I do my work well. Unfortunately though, I have yet to start on it plus the deadline is only one plus week away. Oh NO! *panic* Ok Ok, will not procrastinate any further (and if my son stops fighting sleep every night!)

Lately also, I have been actively involved in the cause of stopping mistreatment of wildlife in captivity. Response was overwhelming and throughout the journey of “fighting”, I have met so many wonderful people. The cause that brought us together has actually forged a strong bond between all of us (Well, I would like to think so. Haha).

So the cause has generated some positive results. The grieving voices of the animals at least are being heard by the Rakyat as well as relevant authorities. Well, some authorities are not doing a thing about it but hopefully as time goes by, decisions will be in favour of the animals.

So for those who are rooting for the animals, email Perhilitan now and keep pushing them for the results. (you know, the file is in Malacca CM’s hands). I will continue to update on what is going on in the scene from time to time. If you’re on twitter, just follow the hashtag #tolongtigers. If you're on Facebook, join the page @ http://www,facebook.com/tolongtigers

There are so many things to talk about but so little time to blog about it. But I think it’s a good start, the rebirth of my blog and this very first post itself. Whipping out my camera from the dusty shelves, polish it clean and start snapping on whatever I think it’s snappable. *laughs*

I still can’t promise anything on when my next posting will be up but I have resolve to update periodically and this time without being a self-pity fool but instead aim to raise some issues and awareness on things going around in our community. *well, hopefully*

Till then.

-Appreciate comments and feedbacks!-

It's been a month??

Oh my.

I've been so busy lately managing my work & the online boutique until I neglected my very soul of writing, gossiping, bitching and whatnots.

I am currently so filled to the brim with work until I could not breathe. The only escape I can get is when I am taking care of Baby G at home after work, which is equally tiring as well. Sometimes I wish I can go for a short holiday, just relaxing and not doing anything. But I guess that is very far removed from the reality that I am living in. Being a new mommy is always never easy. Your attention is constantly being filled with the little one, just so that he won't get himself hurt or get himself into trouble.

It's been 10 months since I've become a mother. How time flies. Being a mother teaches me a lot of things and now I know the pains and worries that every mother goes through. I have to say that I have been blessed with a very good son, being rather not fussy and relatively easy to take care of. Thank God he is one of those babies that doesn't wail all the time. Sometimes when he knocked his head somewhere, he would just be stunned for a moment and then continue doing what he was doing earlier. Of course, he has pain senses where he will cry when the knock or cut or pain was extremely painful but nevertheless, i am blessed.

Work has never been easy too. Workload is increasing multiplefolds which I think is a good problem but then again, i think it's taking a toll on my health. I'm rapidly gaining weight since I'm not eating healthily nor do any exercise [yes, i am still saving some money to buy some dumbbells to do simple exercises at home, that is, if I have the time]. Lately I have not enough sleep either because Baby G somehow is very restless throughout the night, keep waking up just to change positions or sleep on my tummy. I have to be constantly be alert throughout the night so that Baby G wouldn't fall off the bed. Ah~ the bane of being a mother. haha.

The online boutique is now one month old today and so far it has been ok though i suspect not many shares the same taste as I does for the plus size fashion. Or perhaps, my price tags are just rather too high. I don't know. I just hope in the near future, there is at least one enquiry a day. I think that would make me happy. Haha. So far, enquiries have been sparse and sales have been ok.

Oh wells. Starting a business, like people always say, is not always easy.

I should be concentrating on my work. Till next time.

Alrighto!

It is interesting to note that I have not been posting up emo post. So, I think it's a good sign?

Excited!

Went to KLIA's Pos Malaysia near LCCT there this morning before I head off to work. I wanted to take some pictures to accompany this blog post but didn't have time to stop the car, get out of the car and take out the camera, and press the snap button. (Plus, today's sky is beautiful! wasted!).

Anyways.

Went to the Mel & Kurier center @ LCCT to declare my items I've imported from the United States for my online business. Initially I though the customs officers will give me hell and perhaps ask me for some duit kopi but thank God everything went smoothly. Plus, contrary to what people thing, the officers I dealt with are very efficient and fast (albeit some that look like they desperately want to have their break in the morning for their elevenses). I declared my items and paid my taxes and within half an hour, i got out of the building. Even some who came before me were still waiting in the room to get some kind of confirmation on their detained parcels.

I think overall, the officers there are very thorough. Even as I want to exit from the building, the customs did a checkup on my car and the contents before allowing me to get out. Well, at least we know they are not lax when it comes to doing their jobs. There's even a more senior officer who took whatever documents I have to teach the younger officers there how to fill in some forms or some logbook. I find it interesting and even nostalgic because I went through the same process as the young officer when I was hired by Public Bank. Finally, after logging my presence and flagging me off. I'm on the road again heading back to home sweet home.

I was so excited when I saw the items spread out on the table. I took one sample out and take a look and I was glad for the quality is awesome. The fashion is pretty trendy too compared to the Malaysian ones where one can look very "aunty-ish" after putting them on.

I can wait to "model" the clothes and post the pics up in the biz blog AND get the business running. SO EXCITED! I'm sure my mom will be equally excited as well.

We are looking for alternative supplier due to the expensive shipping cost to import from US (though I really want to keep importing from them). Yesterday my mom and I met up with a lady at her house to check out her stocks. I fell in love with some of them but I guess we have to put them on hold because it does not cater to our current market yet. In the future, perhaps. In the future, perhaps. More stocks are coming in on her side, apparently imported from the Land of the Rising Sun. Anticipating to see the new stocks. I think things are going to be swell. Of course, to be successful we have to go through the rough patches first. Better to have a long term success than a one-hit wonder.

Alright. I need to start working on my articles. Procrastinated enough. Can't wait to go home and see the stocks again. I think I can hug them to sleep. LOL.

Shop address will be revealing soon and launch dates will be announcing soon! Pls help spread the word!

Love & Hate

The past few days have been freaking hot and cold. I was drenched wet yesterday while getting out of the car and sprinted my way to the front of my house through a ferocious storm. I really think the weather nowadays are chaotic - one moment they are as calm as the water and the next moment PMS came in and it started to wail and throw up a tantrum and flood the earth. Should have taken a photo of the storm. Shucks. Missed moment.

Thank God though I did not fell sick. I am however having bloody throbbing headaches for the past two weeks. One friend said I may be dehydrated. Hm, why didn't I think of that? Drinking lots more water now. Still having the headaches but I think it's getting better.

Am actually having my lunch break now with another 15 to 20 minutes to spare, so I decided to give some life to my blog before it start withering again. My Gmail inbox was slow today with not many emails coming in and twitter is slow in updating too. Either the tweeps are taking a break or the system is taking a break. Whatever. Come on cyberworld on my laptop, why are you so slow, entertain me already dammit!

I resorted to reading mylifeisaverage.com while chomping on my Butter Toffee Bun, manufactured by Gardenia. Quite a good tasting bun actually. Gonna chomp on my Twiggies soon too, for lunch.

For the past few weeks I have been thinking about the prospects of changing to a better job albeit I still love working in my current job. I think my responsibilities toward my family beckons and hence I felt the unbearable pressure to find a job which pays me good and offers awesome benefits too. All I can think of now are bank-related jobs but I know nothing about finance except for a little bit of HR. Apparently, some bit time magazine publisher are not paying that well too and the politics can be horrific. So, I have to skip that. Am looking around but not actively, perhaps I will take my own sweet time to look for a job while enjoying my time here. Perhaps, I might not even leave at all. Who knows right? (Oh wait, only God knows, for sure).

And I have to confess though: I think I have a love-hate relationship with my work. One moment I really love doing what I do and the next moment hatred towards my job swelled up within me. There are inadvertently and evidently struggles inside me which I need to cope with everyday, with some pushing me to the brink of tears and depression and stress. At one point of time, I actually created a drama out of my struggles in the office until I caused the people around me to be upset. Now I think about it, it is kinda silly of me to create such a fuss and a scene. I think one of my bosses already hated me for doing so. Maybe that is the point number one for me to leave the company. I have the problem of thinking everyone in the company hates me and wants me to go. See, I think I'm psycho. I think I need to go see a psychiatrist to help me.

I love my job yet I hate my job. Sometimes I wonder why I have this kind of feeling. Is it normal? I hope there are people who reads this to share their experience.

Maybe I'm putting too much hope into this job. Maybe I became too involved with this job. I.am.lost.

On the flipside, I am rather excited about my new business venture that I am having. Please await for the launch date and pls visit us when we launch! Hahaha. Am just so excited about it. :)

Baby G will be touching his 9 month mark on 2nd February! My, how time flies and Baby G is a big boy now with a mind of his own, demanding attention, demanding for things, demanding, demanding and demanding. And, he still hasn't called his mommy yet. Aihs~

Oh wells. 5 more minutes and I'm back to work. *smiles & groans at the same time*

Come see my dear Baby G!

 

I'm stuck in 2009

Somehow I am still stuck in the year 2009. I don't feel 2010. Yes, although I have passed by 25th birthday (ugh! so fast!) but somehow I just don't feel the present. Hm, maybe I am holding on to something of the past but I wonder, what is it actually?

For some of you who notice, I am trying really hard to be a positive person and trying really hard to discard my procrastination both in worklife, family life & social life. I somehow now understood why people jilted me and left me behind and move on ahead. It is because I am unwilling to let go of something in the past and move on with them. So in order to not get stuck in the past, my friends and other people who are important to me have moved on, leaving me behind.

Now, I seem to have loosen the grip on the particular past and started running like a mad person towards those who are in front of me. I am truly thankful for those who have stopped for a little while to wait for me, or even come to me to help me get back up on my feet when I fall down.

I feel different now. I feel much more liberated from the self that has been living for the past 24 years. Now that I am a mother, perspective changes and guess Baby G has been the greatest encourager in my life to move on with life and be happy with it. God has given us the gift of the present and the hope of the future.

I so love my Baby G. What about Baby G's father, some of you might ask. Yes, yes I do love him, if that satisfy your thirst of curiosity.

Talking about Baby G, he has touched the 8th month mark and is already trying to grab onto things and stand up, and walk a little (with support of course!) My, how has he grown. It's been 8 months! To be brutally honest, I sometimes wish I can rewind back the time when Baby G is still a sweet little thing and make up to him of all that I have not done for him. Shucks. Now, I can't do much but to give him what he needs and provide for his needs.

It's a bit heart breaking though that he prefers to sleep with his grandma rather than with his mommy. My mom nevertheless always assures me that "He will outgrow it one laaaa~"

Oh wells.

Anyway, I have been meeting up with a lot of friends whom I have catch up for a long time, due to my procrastination desire and my pregnancy. It's been wonderful. Hope to catch up with more friends soon. If you are reading this, and would love to catch up with me (and I would love to catch up with you too!) contact me ya?

Looking back to my birthday celebration, I guess this year is the most meaningful one where I have Baby G and my husband to celebrate with, my family are still here with me. Sharon & Ming Foong brought me out for a wonderful Italian dinner and together with them Lordson bought my most fave Lady Gaga CD (int. version somemore!) that I can't afford. My hubby satiated my hunger for MP4 also. Feel so blessed! Wasted though, can't spend all those Red Box coupons for my birthday. Haha.

And talking about karaoke, I want to go again! I think I'm addicted. Anyone wanna go with me? We can make the rain come falling down on the land of BolehLand. :)

Metamorphosis

I need to blog more often.

I think I need to change the blog look too. Perhaps move to another blogsite, to leave all those memories behind and move on to a fresh start.

Need to learn to let go and let God.